The Sacred Antinous - Erotically-charged, Explicitly Illustrated, Queer-Themed Historical Fiction about Antinous and Hadrian
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Sacred Texts
LEGEND TO ILLUSTRATIONS
  CONTAINS X-RATED IMAGES
  CONTAINS R-RATED IMAGES
  CONTAINS G-RATED IMAGES
COMMENTARY
  ~000 Introduction
I - THE YOUNG SCHOOLBOY
  ~001 Arrival at Caelian Hill
  ~002 Life at the Paedagogium
  ~003 Monsters and Heroes
  ~004 The Private Baths
  ~005 The Soaps of Cyprias
  ~006 The Treachery of Gryllus
  ~007 Assurances and Endurances
  ~008 The Demise of Trenus
  ~009 The Surprise Inspection
II - THE COURT PAGE
  ~010 Little Donkey
  ~011 Whispering Hope
  ~012 Epigrams for Antinous
  ~013 Books from Maltinus
  ~014 Little Signals
  ~015 Promotion
  ~016 Juvenalis IX
  ~017 A Frothy Idea
  ~018 Evening on the Riverbank
  ~019 Across the Leagues
  ~020 Unprecedented Access
  ~021 Winged Mercury
  ~022 Dinner Guest
  ~023 Causes of Nausea
  ~024 New Pupil
  ~025 Wax, Soap, and Wool
  ~026 Four Daughters
  ~027 Vitalis Atones
  ~028 Futures and Histories...
  ~029 The Triumph of Desire
  ~030 An Image of Antinous
  ~031 The Ride From Rome
  ~032 The Villa at Tibur
  ~033 The Ride To Rome
  ~034 Praeconina
  ~035 Foolish Carisius
  ~036 The Christian Texts
  ~037 Married Pleasures
  ~038 In Tibur, Alone
  ~039 The End of Corinthus
  ~040 Turning Tables
  ~041 A History & Fantasy...
  ~042 A Sad Collection
  ~043 Rafts in a Raging Sea
  ~044 Rome, Home and History
  ~045 A Caravan of Monologue
  ~046 On Favorinus
  ~047 The Flesh of a Metaphor
  ~048 Disquieting Thoughts
  ~049 Purple Reign
  ~050 The Heart of Numidia
  ~051 Stables of the Palatine
  ~052 Hadrian's Deprivation
  ~053 Transcripts and Categories
  ~054 In the Wake of a Paradox
III - THE IMPERIAL FAVOURITE
  ~055 Father of the Country
  ~056 The First Night with Hadrian
  ~057 A Place in the World
  ~058 Hard Resolution
  ~059 Announcements...
  ~060 Keeping Company
  ~061 The Stallions' Ride
  ~062 The Tour Begins
  ~063 On the Isthmus
  ~064 On Grief
  ~065 The Eleusian Mysteries
  ~066 A Playful Wager
  ~067 The Delights of Athens
  ~068 On Receiving
  ~069 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~070 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~071 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~072 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~073 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~074 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~075 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~076 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~077 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~078 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~079 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~080 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~081 Epistle Coming Soon
IV - THE SEARCHING SOUL
  ~082 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~083 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~084 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~085 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~086 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~087 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~088 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~089 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~090 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~091 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~092 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~093 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~094 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~095 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~096 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~097 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~098 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~099 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~100 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~101 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~102 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~103 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~104 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~105 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~106 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~107 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~108 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~109 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~110 Epistle Coming Soon
Phallic Amulets

A Sad Collection

Lysicles

Shall I rejoice, or shall I weep? I write this at a table upon which sits XLI additional letters – all composed in my own hand and all addressed to you.

Do I smile at their safe return to me; at the assurance that they are not all lost? Do I celebrate their intactness as a collected testament to my enduring and serialized love for you? Or do I despair at the fact that they have never even left Rome; that you, who are pursuing your private dreams elsewhere in the world, have quite probably forgotten my face and my name under the assumption that I, callous Antinous, long ago abandoned you forever?

It is difficult to relate the details of how these epistles were returned to me, as I do not know them myself. Suffice it to say that Decentius, who is well liked among the other guards and in an excellent position to enlist their assistance, effected a bold strategy to intimidate Mordanticus into believing that I was aware of his deceit and possessed, to my advantage, the overwhelming support of the Praetorian Guard. Knowing well how fearful is Mordanticus of offending the military powers that prowl the Palatine, it is not hard to understand how quickly he probably capitulated to their demands. Further, the knowledge that I have a direct and ready access to Hadrian himself is doubtless a cause of much sudden distress for him. All of this to arrive at the report that, within but moments of their confrontation, Mordanticus handed over to Decentius the complete collection of letters, and received in return the rather terrifying suggestion that he was, on account of his proven and protracted deception, very likely being observed by the Frumentarii.

Decentius later told me, with a small and sheepish smile, that the secret police know and care nothing of Mordanticus – that he merely uttered it so as to strike into the man’s heart an appropriate and deserving fear. Yet that is small comfort to me, given that you, Lysicles, remain to these many and astonishing adventures completely oblivious.

What, therefore, shall I do with them all? How shall I discover in myself the motivation to continue writing? What is the point of it? Who benefits? To these questions I have no answer. Nor do I even have in myself the strength to begin searching for one. I shall end this here. I shall place it at the bottom of a somber and dispirited pile, roll them up together, and hide them from the world. It seems I am off again to Tibur next week, quite possibly for the entire summer. I do not expect myself to write.

Goodbye, my dearest Lysicles. If, as appears increasingly to be the case, it is fated that you shall never again know of me, perhaps I can take solace in the fact that the gods have witnessed, time and again, my enduring and faithful devotions unto you. At the very least, may they deign to smile upon me for that. A.

 
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