The Sacred Antinous - Erotically-charged, Explicitly Illustrated, Queer-Themed Historical Fiction about Antinous and Hadrian
Sacred Texts
  ~000 Introduction
  ~001 Arrival at Caelian Hill
  ~002 Life at the Paedagogium
  ~003 Monsters and Heroes
  ~004 The Private Baths
  ~005 The Soaps of Cyprias
  ~006 The Treachery of Gryllus
  ~007 Assurances and Endurances
  ~008 The Demise of Trenus
  ~009 The Surprise Inspection
  ~010 Little Donkey
  ~011 Whispering Hope
  ~012 Epigrams for Antinous
  ~013 Books from Maltinus
  ~014 Little Signals
  ~015 Promotion
  ~016 Juvenalis IX
  ~017 A Frothy Idea
  ~018 Evening on the Riverbank
  ~019 Across the Leagues
  ~020 Unprecedented Access
  ~021 Winged Mercury
  ~022 Dinner Guest
  ~023 Causes of Nausea
  ~024 New Pupil
  ~025 Wax, Soap, and Wool
  ~026 Four Daughters
  ~027 Vitalis Atones
  ~028 Futures and Histories...
  ~029 The Triumph of Desire
  ~030 An Image of Antinous
  ~031 The Ride From Rome
  ~032 The Villa at Tibur
  ~033 The Ride To Rome
  ~034 Praeconina
  ~035 Foolish Carisius
  ~036 The Christian Texts
  ~037 Married Pleasures
  ~038 In Tibur, Alone
  ~039 The End of Corinthus
  ~040 Turning Tables
  ~041 A History & Fantasy...
  ~042 A Sad Collection
  ~043 Rafts in a Raging Sea
  ~044 Rome, Home and History
  ~045 A Caravan of Monologue
  ~046 On Favorinus
  ~047 The Flesh of a Metaphor
  ~048 Disquieting Thoughts
  ~049 Purple Reign
  ~050 The Heart of Numidia
  ~051 Stables of the Palatine
  ~052 Hadrian's Deprivation
  ~053 Transcripts and Categories
  ~054 In the Wake of a Paradox
  ~055 Father of the Country
  ~056 The First Night with Hadrian
  ~057 A Place in the World
  ~058 Hard Resolution
  ~059 Announcements...
  ~060 Keeping Company
  ~061 The Stallions' Ride
  ~062 The Tour Begins
  ~063 On the Isthmus
  ~064 On Grief
  ~065 The Eleusian Mysteries
  ~066 A Playful Wager
  ~067 The Delights of Athens
  ~068 On Receiving
  ~069 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~070 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~071 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~072 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~073 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~074 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~075 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~076 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~077 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~078 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~079 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~080 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~081 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~082 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~083 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~084 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~085 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~086 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~087 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~088 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~089 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~090 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~091 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~092 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~093 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~094 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~095 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~096 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~097 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~098 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~099 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~100 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~101 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~102 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~103 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~104 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~105 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~106 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~107 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~108 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~109 Epistle Coming Soon
  ~110 Epistle Coming Soon
Phallic Amulets

The Treachery of Gryllus


I am digging in, and now do all I can to spurn the monster Gryllus and prove to him how resolutely I shall resist him. His deception at the baths had upon me such an instant and considerable effect as to render Elysian any and all previous violations. But his actions in the subsequent months have only served to intensify my resolve to a degree that I did not think it capable for a mere human being to achieve.

When he sought to see me the next time, Vestinus came to me and ordered that I follow. But I refused. I let it be known to the Paedagogiarch that I no longer wished to see Gryllus as his previous visitation had caused me to miss a General Inspection (something that Vestinus obviously already knew and no doubt had had a hand in perpetrating). How absurd that such a statement, uttered by a schoolboy, should so infuriate the master that he would set the iron rod upon me. Even more despicably, he called from their lessons many of the other boys to witness it. Gryllus was also invited to attend the spectacle, and stood quietly at the back of the room, staring serenely at my rump while the pain shot through my backside.

After no fewer than ten strokes of the iron, Vestinus turned me round to face the class and the expressionless gaze of Gryllus. “Hast thou reconsidered?” asked the master. “I have not,” I replied. And he spun me around again to continue the punishment. There were this time twenty excruciating blows, after which he turned me again to face the world. “Hast thou reconsidered?” asked the master.

Education in Ancient RomeIt occurred to me that this punishment could and most likely would go on indefinitely – so long as I held my ground. And I knew that I could not endure such pain as that for much longer. Thus I capitulated, and was promptly taken by the ear past the grinning face of Carisius to be delivered into the triumphant quietude of Gryllus. He took me then to the room at which we had had our first few encounters – the small yet lavishly appointed chamber that I had once long ago attempted to avoid with a bout of intentional uncleanness. He shut the door and sat upon the bed, staring at me as I stood quietly, doing my utmost to look past him. “What shall be done with you?” he asked. I did not respond. He sighed deeply. “Lie down,” he commanded, “and I shall salve your wounds.” I did as he commanded, and lay gingerly down upon the bed beside him. I stared at the ceiling and lay motionless while he bent over to take me into his mouth. But I was deliberate in my refusal to be engaged by his rhythm, and after a long while of his meaningless exertions he finally ceased. He sat up and looked down at me with a flushed and exhausted face.

“Very well,” he said at last, as though coming to a private conclusion. “If you will not take the pleasure, then you shall provide it.” And he rolled me over upon my face and entered me, intending for the sting to be severe. But I am first and foremost a student of Arkamedes, and as such became for him but a straw man; a doll that he could prod to his content. Though I did not resist, neither did I engage him. And it was this very lack of a cultured and animated mind, combined with the stubborn refusal to acknowledge him, which succeeded, I believe, in irritating Gryllus far more than the thrust of his manhood could do so to me. He finished angrily and we parted coldly. I returned to my schoolwork without a word, ignoring whatever stares and sneers I garnered.

On the next occasion when Gryllus visited, which was approximately one month later, he had softened somewhat and attempted to appease me with such a thin apology that I instantly doubted his sincerity. Thus still I kept my distance, a state by which I intended to make clear to him that I was no longer and would never again be his. “What shall we do today?” he asked without a hint of irony. “Do with me whatever you want,” I told him flatly, “for I take from you neither pleasure nor pain. I am numb to all that is Gryllus.” And I knew this infuriated him, for it rendered him utterly powerless to dominate my spirit – regardless of how he wrangled my flesh. I had pre-empted his every attack, for Rape in Antiquitynothing he could or could not do to me would nullify my ambivilence toward him. Thus, as his rage finally bubbled over, he pushed me down upon my knees, swept aside his toga and grabbed at my hair. He thrust mercilessly into my throat, and ‘twas all I could to do gasp for air and keep from choking. Within moments Gryllus had spurted into me, holding my skull tight against his groin and forcing me to swallow the sickly substance. I coughed and gagged at the creeping slime and ripped my head away, which caused him to laugh at what he brusquely called my “ineptitude.” He strutted then from the room, leaving me with my jawbone helplessly seized and my neck in knots. But I thanked the gods that it was over, and that I was for the time being done with him.

Since that day, which was almost six weeks ago, he has not re-appeared, but the assaults of Carisius and his cronies have intensified, and it is perfectly obvious to me why. Gryllus is working through Vestinus to punish me. Yet this only serves to strengthen my resolve and fortify my spirit against him. I know that if I can resist Gryllus, I can certainly resist the thoughtless pain inflicted from a gang of stupid boys. And so I have recently started arriving at my lesson with bruises and burns, limps and lurches, rendering it quite impossible for Maltinus (or anyone, for that matter) to be unaware of what is transpiring. Should I have any secret allies among the other boys, they are no doubt paralyzed by their fear to be seen to support me. Trenus does his best to be brave, but I know that even he is becoming wary of spending too many hours at my side, and thus have I with not so many words released him of the obligation. Already is he drifting away, and the island of my isolation grows forever smaller amid a rising sea of hostility, neglect, and cowardice. With regards to Maltinus, I suspect the poor man is quite powerless to intervene, for it would be unwise of him to contest the will of Vestinus who sanctions and effectuates all that Gryllus malignantly wishes upon my person. The only action available to him with which he can demonstrate his regard for me is to continue to accept these letters, which he then sends onward unto you. (I must ask him after the details, however, as I am having serious doubts that his channels are meeting with success.)

Let us hope and pray together that somehow this finds you and delivers my steadfast love into your hands. A.

The Sacred Antinous is an ongoing work of Historical Fiction, for contemplative and educational purposes.
Site Design & Content Copyright © 2006 - present, Infinitive Ink Limited | Contact
The Sacred Antinous